The Camping Trip
by MrRobButtle
Summary: A camping trip for the weekend. Sheldon couldn't be less interested. Leonard gets out of going and earns a Sheldon free weekend. And Penny finds herself sharing with an annoying Whackadoodle. Everyone is involved in this story, not just the four that it allows you to mention in a story.


"Come on Sheldon, it'll be fun!" Penny cried. Sheldon looked at her like she'd just suggested setting off an atomic bomb in the apartment.

"Fun Penny? I don't see what is fun about camping in the slightest. We'll be sleeping on the ground and getting eaten to death by bugs, that's if wild animals don't get us first." Sheldon replied.

"Sheldon, for god sake, it's a camping site, it's not the middle of the dessert with wild bears right next door!" Penny cried.

"I will refrain from chastising you for suggesting bears live in dessert areas, and instead remind you that this entire idea is bordering on insanity!" Sheldon cried.

"Well you would know about insanity." Penny muttered.

"I'm not insane. My mother had me tested." He reminded her.

"You know how you said this would be fun?" Howard asked.

"Yeah?" asked Penny.

"Then why are we taking _Sheldon_?" Howard queried.

"Good point." Leonard muttered.

"I heard that. Leonard, need I remind you that you are on your last warning following the ice cream incident!" Sheldon replied.

"Did you think it would make great lube and instead end up nearly freezing your genitalia off?" Howard asked.

"What?" Leonard asked confused.

"Neither did I." Howard replied looking away uncomfortably.

"Hey! That had better not be what that indentation was in the strawberry Hagen Dais!" Bernadette warned.

"What _did_ happen with the ice cream?" Penny queried out of curiosity.

"I left it out of the freezer too long." Leonard sighed.

"By too long he means all night." Sheldon added.

"How many times must I apologise for that?" Leonard cried.

"You weren't the one who woke up with a craving for ice cream the next morning and found it melted all over the kitchen counter. It took me ages to get that kitchen cleaned." Sheldon moaned.

"Like you're not crazy enough to have spent all morning cleaning the kitchen anyway?" Leonard asked incredulously.

"I am not crazy, you're the one who is crazy, for not knowing that ice cream does not maintain a solid shape when exposed to room temperature." Sheldon replied.

"Bite me." Leonard muttered.

"Since I am not a cannibal or a vampire I shall decline that request." Sheldon replied.

"Oh god help us!" Leonard groaned.

"I don't believe in deities." Sheldon reminded him.

"Really? Because when you got food poisoning last weekend you spent a large part of the night praying to aforementioned deity to end your life quickly. I only wish it had!" Leonard spat back.

"I am glad to see Raj and Amy are sensible enough not to attend this frankly ridiculous plan." Sheldon stated after a short uncomfortable silence.

"That's just where you're wrong, they're already at the campsite booking our spots." Penny replied.

"Oh good. I wonder if they'll put us inches away from an overflowing river, leading us to be drowned to death?" Sheldon asked.

"For me that would be a merciful release." Leonard muttered. Sheldon glared at him.

"Sheldon, we're all going and we want you to come with us." Penny said.

"Hey, you speak for yourself, don't drag me into this "wanting Sheldon to come craziness"! Howard replied.

"You see? Howard doesn't want me to go, and I think it would be the best thing if I didn't ruin Howards enjoyment of your trip by going myself." Sheldon stated.

"Nice try Sheldon, you're going." Penny replied.

"Excuse me, I don't see what makes you fit to throw such authority over me around?" Sheldon asked. Penny moved closer.

"Sheldon…if you don't agree to go…I'm going to put my hand on your special area and rip it right off!" Penny growled. Sheldon balked at the threat of physical violence and sank his head in defeat.

"That's the spirit!" Penny grinned.

"Hey Leonard?" Howard asked.

"Yeah?" Leonard replied.

"I'm not sure who I hate more. Sheldon for not standing up to her, or your idiotic girlfriend for making him come!" Howard replied.

"Excuse me?" Penny turned to face him.

"Nothing Penny!" Howard smiled nervously.

"Way to be strong." Leonard mocked.

"Coming from the man who would do literally _anything_ if it meant having sex with her." Howard replied.

"Hell yeah." Leonard grinned unashamedly. Penny rolled her eyes and turned back to Sheldon.

"You're going to need a tent. Amy is staying with Raj because she knew you'd back out if there was any chance of you and her having to sleep in the same tent." Penny told him.

"She's a wise woman." Sheldon smiled fondly.

"Are you sure you're OK with Raj sleeping in the same tent as your girlfriend? I mean…he got Penny into bed, how hard could it be with Amy?" Howard joked.

"Right, that's it!" Penny snapped heading towards Howard, who backed clean out of the door and into the hallway.

"I can't believe I ate that ice cream!" Bernadette cringed as she joined her husband in the hall.

"Nothing happened!" Howard reasoned, though the uncomfortable look on his face told her otherwise. Suddenly Leonards phone went off.

"Uh oh." He whispered looking at it.

"What's wrong?" asked Penny.

"The University has asked me to work this weekend. They need my findings on the experiment I'm working on." Leonard replied.

"A workplace emergency, brilliant Leonard, and they need me there aswell!" Sheldon replied.

"No they don't, we're not working on the same thing." Leonard replied.

"Well I think we should be." Sheldon replied.

"Are you really _that_ desperate to get out of this trip?" Leonard asked. Sheldon nodded awkwardly.

"Leonard, you can stay, Sheldon…come with me." Penny instructed him.

"Where are we going?" Sheldon asked.

"We're going to buy a new two person tent. And not one of those stupid kiddy star wars tents." Penny replied pulling her car keys from her pocket as they left the door. Leonard sighed when the door closed and he was finally alone. A smile crossed his face as a weekend of no Sheldon crossed his mind. His thoughts went back to Penny, stuck in a tent with Sheldon.

"I wonder if she'll murder him before they get there or during the trip?" he mused aloud to himself.


End file.
